Love, Trust, Purity, Benevolence, Consciousness
and Consideration are the coordinal points for an everlasting relationship.
But the equation in a marital
relationship isn’t that simple. For thousands of years, the woman in a marriage
has been at the receiving end of mind numbing oppression. The male counter parts
have placed themselves at the mantel expecting their female counterpart to be
dedicated to them in mind, body and soul, while they have been free to practice
vices such as bigamy that demean a woman’s self respect.
Dowry, Domestic Violence, Sexual
Harassment, Reproductive Coercion are heinous crimes that women in a marriage
has been subject to. On a more subtle
level women are gas lighted all the time to believe that they are the inferior
of the two partners.
In certain cases the opposite
might also be true. But then what is the end result?
The result is an unfulfilling
marriage where either of the partners feels withdrawn and lacks any enthusiasm or
any sense of accomplishment.
One might argue that with more
girls being educated and in this age of power couples, the aforementioned vices
might have dipped. But the statistics talk a different language. Domestic
Violence and sexual harassment in marriages are at an all time high.
Even in so to say normal healthy
relationships, couples today are busy improving the standard of living and
their focus is accumulating resources to collect materialistic comforts, plan
foreign vacations and in general improve their status in the society with the
hypothesis that it will fetch them more respect and peace of mind. But is that
all that is there to a successful relationship?
Well, relationships are way beyond
convenience and suitability. And there
is much more to fight for in a marriage or any kind of partnership beyond
personal preferences and ego clashes.
So how does one go about
developing a fulfilling relationship? What relationship goals shall a couple
set for a divine experience?
Relationship Goals For Couples In Modern Times
One must not forget that ‘Every
individual is an institution in themselves’. It could be the case that
perspectives differ. Perspectives are a function of one’s experiences and
sufferings. Thus one has to respect the other’s perspective too.
Every person holds within
themselves both positive and negative attributes. The key to happiness is in
cherishing the positives. Negatives if inconsequential must be ignored
altogether, and effort shall be made to provide feedback on other shortcomings.
Most successful relationships are those where partners encourage
each other to follow their dreams, develop new skills and expand their
knowledge. The success need not be measured in terms of personal success only. Sometimes,
success of your partner should feel more accomplishing.
A confused mind may only look
forward to sharing the benefits of a partnership. But a wise mind is that who
also shares the responsibilities. Sharing the load paves the path for willful sharing
of the good times and the benefits that ensue.
Spare Time For Each Other
In the rut of daily life, we get
so busy completing the chores that we forget to actually cherish each other’s
presence. Take a stand for each other and give that time exclusively to
yourself as a couple. Kids, parents, friends and family at large will be there,
but it is your partner who shall be around to provide you that intimate
comfort. Value them.
Break the Routine
Taking cue from the above point about sparing time for each other, the best way to do it is to break the routine once in a while. Ignoring home chores for a day will free you up to spend time with each other. And this extra time spent in each other’s company will automatically fuel you up for the challenges of familial life for a few days that lay ahead.
I am participating in the #AtoZChallenge2020 with #BlogchatterA2Z.
The thoughts and ideas described above are the wisdom of Dr. Surender Sagar.
Surender Sagar is a retired Deputy Regional Director from Department of
Atomic Energy. He is MSc in Geology and Phd in Volcanic Sciences.
He has contributed Research Papers on Uranium in Indian as well as International journals.
his retirement, he is ardently pursuing the path of spirituality
propagated by Reverent Baba Kehar Singhji Maharaj (Radha Swami Math,
Tarantaran in Punjab). This work of his is an amalgamation of lessons he
has learnt from his Guru, and by observing his own life and the lives
of those around him.